I can picture that Jordan scene now. I once met a person who made a living by painting those scenes in baptistries. What a job!

I can remember a "business meeting" in which the long debate was over whether to buy ant killer for the church lawn. I'm sad to say that I don't remember what the decision was.

Whether or not the church should continue doing a Halloween celebration for the community, complete with haunted hayride (think people with chainsaws in cemeteries). Notice I didn't say Halloween alternative. Halloween CELEBRATION. There was absolutely no aspect of the Gospel in it at all. NONE. I took a stand against it as pastor, then the coordinator of it tried to justify the whole thing in a business meeting because he knew everyone involved, and there was no way they could be wrong, because they were members of churches. Long, pre-printed speech with quotations from me taken out of context. The congregation narrowly agreed with me to no longer have this event. In defiance, the coordinator vowed to do it on his own. Oh, how I wish we had been practicing church discipline by then!

I apologize if I was not general enough in my previous post, and Greg I have no troubles with you deleting that comment if you feel it crosses a line...

Years ago someone asked if it would be possible to put an outside light by the little playground, since one some Wednesday nights it would be starting to get dark when the kids were out there. This opened the discussion of what type of light would be best, should it be motion activated, who would pay for it, etc.

After about 20 minutes of this a man who happens to be an electrician by trade stood up, said he'd buy and install the stupid thing. Everyone voted (there had to be a vote, natch) to let him.

I'm praying this Sunday night's members meeting will not be a nightmare. It is over what instruments go where in our upcoming move to two services.

BTW: I think the same guy painted our JOrdan River as well. Every time we have a wedding, someone makes curtains to cover it up. Once I "forgot" to take it down before worship on Sunday..... Mistake.

All time favorite... a 30-40 heated debate about whether the women's missionary auxiliary could purchase a window unit air conditioner for the local orphanage. Children affected: about 75. Cost of air conditioner: $300.
Watching the deacon opposing the expenditure battle his wife, the chair of the women's missionary auxiliary, priceless.

In the end, the kids at the orphanage sweated through the summer!

A discussion (not necessarily a debate or heated argument) over whether or not to continue to have on Fellowship Dinners on Wednesday Evening because it was showing a profit. Those in the congregation opposing it were the ones that didn't come to support. In the end an elderly gentlemen in the church spoke up and commented that maybe if more of our members supported it (and he admitted that he didn't come) then it would make a profit. After that it was decided to continue with the dinners since it was never meant to make a profit but it was an outreach ministry and a ministry to those that worked to be able to come to Wednesday Evening service without being rushed to prepare dinner prior to service.

An idea that we employ to "let the steam out of the business meeting" and also build trust in the leadership is to hold an informational meeting anywhere from 6-9 weeks in advance of any business meeting. The agenda for the informational meeting is the same for the business meeting in which we will vote.

The elders (we are an elder led baptist church) set the agenda. We present the information (i.e. budget, recommendation, etc...) and we have a q and a at the informational meeting.

The information we present is in writing and the manuscript his handed out at the end of the meeting.

We then ask people to prayerfully consider the information, speak with the leadership in the weeks to come. We then give another brief overview in the actual business meeting, have another brief q and a and vote.

This has been our practice for about 4 years (we are a 54 year old church). Our business meetings are very tame. They last about an hour (or less), including the vote, hymn singing while the votes are tallied, and the closing prayer.

This was implemented to make everything as transparent as possible... to give plenty of time for discussion... and to make certain no one senses that they are being rushed into a vote of any kind.

We implemented this system explaining we as a leaderhip team, as elders, want to telegraph everything we are doing so that no one is taken by surprise.

This practice brought all lobbying to an end and our church had been particularly contentious over the previous decade.

God has blessed our attempts at transparency... and His people have responded...

Coincidentally, we put a copy of the 9Marks PDF in every family's hands... 4 years ago and began our own little reform process and we are grateful for your ministry.

I realize two meetings (the informational and the actual business meeting) seems a lot. But there is actually less work, less contention, and more harmony. We consider a worthwhile investment.

In His Grace and still reforming (and indebted to 9marks)

Keith

When I was a teenager, I was at a church that was the town's largest church. They did not have "First Baptist" in their name and changing their name so that another church could not call themselves "First Baptist."

I was attending a Baptist Church during high school. The group was growing because of the outreach of the leaders and weekly visitation. It was decided that a van would help the youth group to grow.

So the night of the business meeting was the same time as youth group, we had about 40 kids that night, but the deacons decided they needed the input of our youth leaders, so they pulled out all the adults and left the inmates in charge of the asylum. That was pretty much the end of the youth group. Many kids felt jilted and never came back.

I went to a "First Baptist" church shortly after my wife and I were married (attending college). As a PK, and trying to set a good example in my marriage, I convinced my wife that it would be important for us to attend our quarterly business meeting. The pastor had been preaching several sermons leading up to that about stewardship, giving and taking care of the "Lord's House" mentioning that there was a lot of work to be done to the 120 year old building. We were told that there would be some recomendations.

This church was well taken care of throughout the years, but being that old, it had the natural wear and tear that one would expect. The original wooden pews showed signs of age, but were excellent compared to many I had seen in my life. It was a beautiful sanctuary. there was wood paneling throughout the whole sanctuary and gold flake around the organ panels and in the baptistry. These were chipping and showing wear. Again, normal stuff.

Well that night, the pastor and the trustees and deacons (typical sbc church) brought motions to finance a church restoration company in to take apart all the wooden pews and refinish them all, to repaint and seal cracks in plaster throughout the ceiling, repaint the baptistry and all the painted work around the platform. This was all going over fine, everyone saw plainly the need to do the work...then it came to the wood paneling. The company said that it would be impossible to remove it and refinish it and replace it without damage, so they would clean it, being sure not to use abrasive chemicals that would destroy the finish there and leave bald wood exposed.

This sent one lady into a fit.
I did not recognize the lady speaking. I had been visiting this medium sized church (200-250 sunday morning) as a college student for two years, occasionally visiting elsewhere, but knew everyone who was a regular attender. I knew who were on who's committees etc... But this lady was a mystery to me. She was a real-estate agent who stood up and claimed that it was her maternal and paternal grandparents who had built this church, and that their family's years of membership there totaled over 200 years of membership. On that basis she had to take a stand against the agregious error we were all about to do, cleaning the wood. She claimed that the wood had important "petina" that had accumulated and cleaning it off would destroy the value of the wood paneling. She went on for several minutes expounding the importance of petina to antiques. My wife and I thought it was simply funny that she said the word "petina" repeatedly.
The chairman of the trustees was dumbfounded. He did not know how cleaning the wood was agregious. After detailed questioning as to why the value would be destroyed an elderly statesman deacon stood up and said. I don't know much about "petina" but when I touch the walls they're sticky, and I make it a habbit to clean dirty sticky things. I think we should too. This let out a howl from those assembled. Everyone asked what market value has to do with a presentable and "non-sticky" church.
The motion passed and we held church for the next 6 months in the gymnasium. Many people complained for months that we had to sit on folding chairs at church in a gym, and that dirty sticky pews may be better.

Coincidentally, I only saw that lady one other time at a regular service and we attended there for over a year after that. My wife and I regularly make references to "petina" when something needs to be cleaned..."but honey, If I wash the car, I'll ruin it's valuable petina..."

My former church held the business meeting and was told that the county would be taking a little of the church's land that bordered the main road, in order to widen the road, install a traffic light, and make the turn lanes safer. (Of course, everyone in this church had been complaining for years about the unsafe road and how the county should do something about it.) Well, basically, the church leaders were allowed to enter into negotiations with the county over the amount of money they would be compensated for the land. At the meeting, the church was told the amount that had been settled on, a generous sum.

One man stood up and said it wasn't enough--we should go to court and try to get more money from the county, because obviously, they were willing to pay up, right? Then the congregation was told that it was either take the offered amount or give up the land for no compensation at all--the county would be taking the land, regardless.

The man kept on yelling and arguing for at least half an hour, saying we should go to court anyway. I think he and his wife eventually left the church over that incident. But now the church has really nice enterances and turn lanes, due to the county's well-done construction on the road!

As I am fresh into this ministry, I will not comment on the sad, but humorous business meeting discussions I have witnessed here (or even in my prior church). But, I did read through the old business meeting minutes of my present church and found several humorous examples. Probably the funnest was the voting and DISCUSSION CONCERNING ceasing to support a single missionary who died on the field. Wow! They actually had to vote to stop sending money to a dead man.

Next to that was the squabble concerning whether or not a baptism could be conducted outside--with one deacon arguing for and another against (this was during a time without a pastor). Swear words were used (AND RECORDED!!!), and name-calling began. After a stretch of angry words, the one deacon went over to the other and said, "Let's try to get along and bury the hatchet." The other deacon replied, "I'll bury it in your head" and stormed out of the meeting.

I have since called my church clerk into my office and shown her an example of what NOT to record in the official minutes. :0)

In my first business meeting at my current church, they spent 45 minutes discussing the wording of a motion regarding the church's buying meat for the potluck supper. Not whether or not the church should by it, but simply how the motion should be worded.

In my second business meeting here, a vote was taken to authorize the trustees to purchase a necessary A/C part that had already been purchased and installed. My response was, "Let's all vote 'no' and see what happens."