This is a very helpful discussion.

I really have no problem agreeing with the above post.

However, I am wondering and have for some time regarding how the church ought to look at a man's wife when evaluating his qualification for eldership.

It seems to me that those churches which are really doing a good job of biblically evaluating qualification ask the questions of how he manages his home and look almost exclusively to his children.

Certainly the passage specifically mentions children and does not specifically mention wives in that qualification of "managing one's household."

So, what standard or criteria do we use, if any, when evaluating the man with regards to the spiritual, christ-like, walk of his wife?

Let's assme we agree she must be a professing believer and a church member - is there anything else?

Joe Fleener
The Shepherd's Bible College
Hastings, New Zealand

Does the candidate's life have to be perfect with respect to having a believing wife AND all children being believers as well?

Should we look for perfection, or rather look at the direction of his life and devotion?

Is it not possible that a candidate for elder with an unbelieving wife might be an even greater example to the world than one with a believing wife, for he is surely under more strain and constant testing?

Not disagreeing with you, necessarily...just putting forth some questions.

This post reminded me of what John Piper said in one of his talks. Basically, he compared it to whether a preacher who committed a public sin (e.g. adultery) should ever be allowed to preach again. Why not, since he has repented?

Well, the answer was that given two equally capable people (say one with believing wife and the other not), church should always go for a person with less problems. Most of the churches have sufficient number of candidates for elders that there is no need to go for "less pure" candidate. On the other hand, people with unbelieving wife/children should have humility not to apply for elder position but instead concentrate on their own family. This disclassification is not in any sense an indication of them being inferior Christians. After all, many very capable women (sometimes more capable than men) who by nature are discqualified from being elders, should not feel inferior but look for ways to serve the church in other ways. Maybe a capable person who struggles with his wife unbelief can start a group of men with similar problems?

I am not aware of any of the qualifications for an elder listed in Scripture saying that an elder must have a believing wife.

I AM aware, though, of a qualification for an elder stating that his children must be believers (Titus 1:6).

If a man has several children, and one of them is not a believer, does that disqualify him for the office of elder?

Can a man still manage his household well (1 Tim. 3:4), and be the husband of one wife (1 Tim. 3:2, Titus 1:6), even if the wife and/or one or more of his children are not believers?

Good discussion.

Paul's primary elder qualification is that the elder be "above reproach" (ITim 3:2, Titus 1:6). It's the first criteria he mentions in both books. So I believe the real question isn't "is or isn't the wife a believer," but is the husband "blamess" in that situation. Has he taught, plead with, lead, loved in such a way that the spritual rebellion of his wife cannot be blamed on his poor spiritual leadership.

Seeing it this way moves us out of bianary legalism and into an evaluation of the man's capabilities and qualities...

I would disagree with the position stated. I don't think it matters whether the wife is saved or not. The Scripture only says to look at how the man manages the home not on the profession or lack their of of his wife.

Also, I don't think the model is broken, but could actually be equally enhanced. The Scriptures say Christ loved his church and laid down his life for her before she was lovely. Can the Christian husband not model this to his unsaved wife. Certainly!

Also, I think it would matter how the wife responds to the husband's belief? Is she actively promoting the very opposite of the gospel by creating division in the home and possibly at the church? For instace, the husband is actively seeking to evangelize and disciple his children and the wife is not submitting to this rather she is doing all she can to convince them otherwise.

So I think it's more important to look at her response to his leadership ("managing the househeld") well than to look at whether she is a believer or not.

This can be nuanced to death talking in hypotheticals. I would question whether this gentleman was a believer before he married the unbeliever, if that's the case it would seem 2 Corinthians 6:14 would disqualify him as an elder candidate.

As I think I've heard D. A. Carson point out, the most remarkable thing about the qualifications for elders or deacons are that they are not remarkable. For an elder, generally, he must be a reputable Christian man capable of teaching. For a deacon, the person must be a reputable Christian man or woman. These leaders represent Christ in a special way both inside and outside the church.

So, wouldn't this principle of representation point to an elder's wife at least meeting the qualifications for a deacon?

I think that would be a good objective standard based on a reasonable inference from the passage.

I don't know if this will be seen or not because this is an older blog entry. I am visiting a church (reformed baptist) with my wife and son. This church is the only reformed baptist church in my area. I just recently came to understand the truth of God's sovereignty in all things including our salvation.
I was planning on joining this church but I recently learned that one of the two elders has a collections of movies he watches that I consider inappropriate for any Christian to watch let alone an elder. Movies that contain nudity, extreme violence and repeated use of God's name as a curse. This church is currently seeking out a pastor and this man has a big part in this decision. I decided we would not join till we see who is called as pastor and see how he handles getting to know his elders and their life styles. I can not place myself or my family under this elder's leadership because I think that finding entertainment in things God calls sin is terribly wrong. Any one who could add guidance I would love to hear from. Thank you.