My heart takes an inordinately long time to change. I find that my brain understands and acknowledges a spiritual truth months (years?) before my heart actually accepts and internalizes it. But I had a moment in our church's gathering a few weeks back where the light finally went on.

Through different circumstances, I've probably listened to this message by CJ Mahaney five times in the past two months. It's a great message, if you haven't listened to it, you should (though five times is a little overkill... the jokes begin to make you mad). The basic message is that Christian leadership involves identifying and celebrating evidences of grace in the lives of the people that you are called to lead and serve, which in turns requires a healthy trust in God's sovereign plan and care for his people.

Well, as I said, my head understood this truth quickly. I was excited about the message and even made fifteen other guys in the church listen to it and discuss it with me. But my heart was much slower to grasp and celebrate it.

Until that Sunday. We were singing "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" at the beginning of the service. And as we were singing, I saw a man walk in who, though he was a member of the church, hadn't attended a service in a long, long time. We had been pleading with him to return and were about to remove him from membership. But there he was. My heart leapt and I sang louder... God is so faithful! Then I saw a woman walk in (we have big 19th century windows that look out onto the parking lot)... she too was a member who had been absent for a long time. We had been pleading with her to return and had (have?) grave concerns about her spiritual condition. We were about to remove her from membership... but there she was. God is so faithful!

Then, as if on cosmic cue, in walked a couple that had been having horrible marriage struggles. Neither of them seems particularly repentant yet, and I've begun to despair of anything ever changing in their lives. And as we continued the song ("Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow!), my heart got it. This doesn't depend on me, it depends on our faithful and gracious God. As a pastor, I can serve them with joy and hope, knowing that God will not fail them.

Now, if God could just do something about my head-to-heart transition time...